relationships are easy
when you know the simple math of happy relationships
Relating Intelligence gives you the 3 missing skills for:
more peace
more power
more play
Relating Intelligence explains why you can be brilliant, intelligent,
have high EQ and a huge heart,
but when it comes to love, nothing you do seems to be enough.
It’s the reason you’ve tried working harder,
providing more,
being more patient,
understanding your childhood,
and still don’t have the relationship you want.
Emotional intelligence helps you become aware of emotions.
Relating Intelligence helps you change what happens next.
Self-awareness is a front-row seat to your own self-sabotage and struggles.
Unless you have the 3 skills you need to build the relationship you really want.
Most people would rather complain about their love life than invest 2 hours or less into exploring how love is math and relationships are ratios.
But you're not most people.
Are you?
this book is for you if you
❖ are caught between the pride of having figured out many things, and the pain of
still not having the relationship you want
❖ didn’t have healthy relationships modeled growing up
❖ haven’t cried in front of another person in years, maybe since you were
nine years old
❖ are touch-starved in a way you don’t know how to say out loud
❖ keep having the same fights over and over again
❖ want to be a good man, but aren’t sure you are one
❖ want connection, but fear your vulnerability could be used against you.
❖ are secretly afraid of becoming like one of your parents (emotionally absent,
resentful, disrespectful or dismissive)
❖ don’t know how to be fully loved, including the darkest shadows of your mind and
the dirtiest corners of your imagination
Ultimately this book is for you if you’re the man who was trained for almost everything except building the loving fun relationship you really want.
keep reading if you want to
❖ feel loved without thinking, “if only she knew”
❖ listen to criticism without defending yourself
❖ apologise without it feeling like an admission of guilt
❖ sit with difficult emotions without needing to fix them immediately
❖ be fully known without feeling exposed
the book is NOT for you if you
❖ have won the lottery of love and wake up every day more in love.
❖ believe relationships should happen without effort or training.
❖ are okay delaying deep love for another year. And another after that.
(If that's you… genuinely… close the tab and go have fun)
This is not a strategy manual for getting someone else to behave.
Relating Intelligence is not control.
It's capacity.
The capacity to stay present when your internal dialogue wants you to disappear.
The capacity to notice disappointment or numbness and choose a new response.
love is math and relationships are ratios
why you need this book now
You can either have the difficult conversation now, or you can have a disconnected marriage
and have difficult conversations later with divorce lawyers.
Neural pathways are reinforced every time you repeat a decision.
Whatever you reinforce today becomes harder to change tomorrow.
The cost compounds.
There’s always a price to pay.
Most people would rather complain about their love life than change it.
But you're not most people. Are you?
to connect with the one
you become the one
with the O.N.E model for successful relationships
Relating Intelligence* model, a framework developed by Anna Shilina to help men build successful, conscious relationships.
The Core Premise: Love is Math and relationships are ratios.
The author argues that love is not a mystery but a set of inputs and ratios. While many men are successful in their careers, they often struggle with intimacy because they lack the specific skills to navigate relationships. The goal is not to "change" who you are, but to develop the capacity to be the best version of yourself.
The O.N.E. Model consists of 3 skills for successful loving fun relationships
❖ O - Observe Patterns: Developing self- awareness to identify recurring behaviors and projections that sabotage relationships.
❖ N - Nervous System Capacity Expansion: Building the physical and emotional capacity to remain present and regulated when triggered, rather than resorting to old, unconscious patterns.
❖ E - Enhance Relationship Ratios: actively managing ten key relationship dynamics, such as fun:feedback, me:we, and conflict:repair, to ensure healthy interactions.
The practical application is 4 questions, 8 nervous system capacity expanders and 10 relationship ratios, all designed specifically for the man who’s brilliant at everything except love to build the relationship he wants.
Relating Intelligence is not about control. It’s about becoming a clear channel for love through training and practice.
a note from the author Anna Shilina
I wrote this book because I needed it.
I spent years struggling with relationships and frustrating patterns.
The more I could understand why I did what I did, and
trace every pattern to its origin,
the more frustrating it became to
go home and repeat it anyway.
That gap… between knowing a pattern and being able to interrupt it…
that's what broke me open.
That's what this book closes.
Not by changing who you are.
By bringing out more of who you already are.
The trained version.
Your dream woman doesn't fall in love with a changed man.
She falls in love with you.
The trained version of you.
Love is math and relationships are ratios.
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